I’ve recently hit my 20’s with no care in the world. I was home, in my mama’s nest. I had shelter, food, a car to drive around in and all the goodies any youngster can ask for. A few months later, when the leaves on the trees started falling, it was University time. It was LIFE time.
It’s October now. I’ve arrived in the UK for a month and it isn’t that easy as they say. On all University websites you see happy students, smiling around with their textbooks in hand, sitting on the grass or having a laugh with teachers, or pictures of students in the most perfect acommodation ever, just being friends with everybody. But it’s not at all like that. It’s like the 5 stages of grief and loss of the perfect home with mama in it. First, you’ll be in denial: you don’t miss home, everything is so cool, the teachers are so cool, the city is so cool, the homework is so cool, the five 10-kg-each course textbooks are so cool, you don’t miss home at all. The second stage of loss is anger: you start getting angry that your internet is down exactly when you want to watch the coolest movie or just download GTA V, you’re angry that your housemates never take out the trash or clean the stove, you’re probably angry because you can’t cook the perfect meal mama always made, but you still don’t miss home. The next step you go through is trying to regain control by bargaining: maybe I can cook with mama’s recipe, maybe I will keep up my studying, maybe better days will come, maybe as time goes by I will not miss home anymore. Then the depression stage kicks in, with all the crying and the tissue-covered floor, and calling everyone back home to tell them how much you miss them, I won’t say much more. Finally, after sobbing and eating all-you-can-eat pizzas, cupcakes, donuts and ice-cream, skype-ing with every family member from here to China, you get to the acceptance stage. Which is where I got today. Luckily, I didn’t have to experience all of the 5 stages to accept reality. No sugary sweets and kleenex for me, just hot-chocolate.
I was sitting in the coffee shop on the corner of New Union Street today, looking out the window thinking that I am on my own now. I have to get a job, get good grades, manage my time successfully. I have to look out for myself, do laundry, cook, do the shopping, eat well, rest well, completely on my own. (Where’s my mama?) I must make my own decisions, think things through in my own best interest and just hope that mama raised me well.
Thinking through all these things, sipping away from my delicious hazelnut hot chocolate, I turned my thoughts around. It’s not scary at all. It’s an amazing opportunity. I have the chance to invest in myself, in whatever direction I please, to create a happy living for myself. I am young and powerful, and I can take on anything. . No more bad days, only ambition, confidence and grateful thoughts.
And yes, of course, happy girls are the prettiest.
alexandrabianca 